The year in review ....

Everyone else is doing this so I thought, why not?
Memorable events from 2009
Mr. Maynard, our dear guinea pig passed away
Vick & Toots sold a bunch of stuff
Got a new ring to replace my lemon
Went to my first jewish deli with a jew
Was on a bowling league (highest score 194)
My brother got married
David and I did the tour de fat
Had my 10 year class reunion
Got rain gardens at our houe
Saw Flight of the Conchords in concert
Walked with Dinosaurs
Got a Subaru
Saw Fleetwood Mac in concert

Things I learned this year
The right temperature water has to be at to make a kick ass loaf of bread
McDonald's French fries and Potbelly Italian seasoning contains dairy
Beer makes me get an instant headache
I love vodka
I will never plan another reunion
I still hate golf
Although getting some news is hard, your life doesn't have to stop because of it
I married the best man on Earth
Steven could win - anything.

It's the most embarassing time...of the year.

Growing up, the day before Christmas break was always the best and the worst day for me.
Best day – movies in class, treats, Christmas gifts from friends, no homework …
Worst day – I had to give our bus driver a Christmas present.

My mom, bless her soul, would make sure our bus drivers were thought of as well on Christmas. The drivers were doing us a favor by coming ALL THE WAY out to our house to pick us up; considering we were right on the North Branch/Chisago border. I could never argue that it was their job to do this…

I was handed a gift a few days before break from my mom.

“Here, give this to Jerry,” my mom said holding up a wrapped squishy present which I knew was the requisite pair of wool socks.

“He needs a toothbrush, not socks” I would say. Jerry was a little short in the teeth department.

“Well, they come all the way out here and it’s just socks” mom said as she stuffed them in my bag.

I would forget about the present for days. The wrapping paper would become crinkled and soft. Then finally, the day would come. The day before Christmas eve.

“Did you give Jerry his present yet?” Mom would ask.

“No.” I said.

“Well you have to today – it’s the last day!”

“FINE”

I waited for the bus to come that morning with nervous anticipation. I tried to talk myself into this task being menial and low impact but it was not. This was one of the biggest teenage faux-pas around – pretending you care about the bus driver. Kids would tease me until the ends of the Earth! How could my mom do this to me?

I shakily sat down by the couch and looked out the window for the bus. Listening for its diesel rattle of the bus to come over the County road 14 bridge. And soon I did hear it.

“Ok. Leaving now” I said as I got up and walked out the door.

“DON’T FORGET THE PRESENT!” Mom said.

As I walked down the yard, the slow decent to hell, to the end of our driveway I watched the bus turn around and it’s door entering my line of sight.

“Oh GOD. Oh god….”

The bus door popped open and I saw Jerry’s toothless smile.

I walked up the stairs and gave Jerry the present unsure if my words were

“Merry Christmas”
or
“My mom wanted me to give this to you”

I stormed to the back of the bus to find that no one cared or saw that I gave our bus driver a Christmas present.

I still get nervous to this day about the Holidays. I am unsure if lingering from these events or I am scared my mom will mail me a pack of wool socks to give to my metro transit bus driver which I believe would be considered a death threat and the authorities promptly called.